Chiron’s Guide to Who’s Who in Greek Mythology

Hades (Hay’-deez)

God of the Underworld

Distinguishing Features: Evil smile, helm of darkness (which makes him invisible, so you can’t see the evil smile), black robes sewn from the souls of the damned. He sits on a throne of bones.

Now: Hades rarely leaves his obsidian palace in the Underworld, probably because of traffic congestion on the Fields of Asphodel freeway. He oversees a booming population among the dead and has all sorts of employment trouble with his ghouls and specters. This keeps him in a foul mood most of the time.

Then: Hades is best known for the romantic way he won his wife, Persephone. He kidnapped her. Really, though, how would you like to marry someone who lives in a dark cave filled with zombies all year round?